I am gay and it is about time I said it out loud

An article for coming out

Michael Lamb
3 min readMar 5, 2021


Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

I will turn 32 this year. I’ve known I am gay for the last 20 years of my life. I started telling friends in 2015, the year I first had a boyfriend. I don’t advertise my sexuality but the news should not shock anyone who pays attention to the content of my conversations (e.g., my comments on another man’s appearance or how I talk about Robert Pattinson a lot).

There are a lot of reasons I haven’t been open about my sexual orientation. Some of those reasons overlap, at least one of them should not be difficult to imagine, and almost none of them are actually significant reasons to hide one’s self. The South is a complicated place with complex social networks, not unlike civilizations of various social progress everywhere. Navigating love, hate, and the in-between isn’t so different here from any other place, it’s just primarily branded by religion. Secularism isn’t new but is burgeoning in my home state of Mississippi, so it is present. I think people outside of Mississippi (and the American South in general) measure regional differences against a monolithic ideal “last place” character. The people in my community are the best people I’ve ever met in my life, so color-me-not-interested in dunking on the people in my life who think differently than me just to satisfy someone else’s ideas about where I live.

I struggle to identify as religious these days, though I do read religious thinkers and consume religious content. I come from a background of bible reading, church membership, and pastoral education in my formative youth. Much of my community in Mississippi is part of a church. It has been the technocratic days of my last 7 years which have led me to deconstruction and a healthier embrace of uncertainty. In my view being gay has very little to do with the core tenets of my self, but I recognize myself as part of the LGBTQ+ community and understand that it is to the benefit of that community if I am a public member.

As for my philosophy, I am an ignostic stoic. There are four fundamental virtues by which I try to live my life:

  • to be open-minded
  • to be empathetic
  • to be honest
  • to be kind



Michael Lamb

software engineer | culture nerd | reader