“How can you live alone?”

Michael Lamb
2 min readJan 19, 2022

What breaks my heart when I hear someone say, “I don’t know how you can live alone,” is the hidden assumption behind the words that my home is somehow a prison of inescapable torture or overwhelming loneliness and despair.

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash

More than once in the last 5 years someone has told me: “I don’t know how you can live alone.” The person saying this always has roommates or a partner or a spouse or a family and they have a routine together that this person cannot imagine life without. But that’s not everything that is communicated by stating an experiential ignorance to a household of solitude.

Perhaps I was more inspired by Superman growing up than I consciously realized but, since the beginning of 2017, other than a few periods lasting no longer than 1–6 months I have lived in a fortress of solitude of my own making. Though I am not completely alone (I have two cats and many plants) my home is a space that is mine and I am responsible for it. As such, I am careful who I invite into my space because it is a place of rest for me.

What breaks my heart when I hear someone say, “I don’t know how you can live alone,” is the hidden assumption behind the words that my home is somehow a prison of inescapable torture or…

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